I’m really very tired of so much right now. I’ve been questioning mine and Daniel’s relationship for probably a year or so. We’ve been together for 4 years and have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together, I think that is probably the biggest reason we’ve stayed together so long. I think there were red flags in the beginning, but I was naive and didn’t notice them. And to this day I don’t think I could do anything differently, because I have my beautiful daughter, and I wouldn’t trade her in for anything.
First off, he was leaving a 4 year relationship and moving directly into a new relationship (with me). They had a 3 year old together (he is 7 now) and I had never been in a relationship before him. Secondly, about 2 months into our relationship I found out that his ex was 4 1/2 months pregnant…and I hadn’t even learned that from him. He had told me he’d only known for a couple weeks and hadn’t known when to break it to me. I later found out that he knew she was pregnant when he left her. And lastly I ended up pregnant 7 months into our relationship and even though I have Emmalyn now and wouldn’t want to change that, I know that we moved to fast too quickly. I also later found out that his ex had gotten pregnant within the first year of their relationship.
And for about the past year, I’ve been questioning everything. We seem to fight all the time now. He makes a big deal when I want to hang out with my best friend (whom I blew off for the first 2-3 years of our relationship). He plays WoW ALL DAY LONG. I am not exaggerating when I say this. He even gets on the game on his hour lunches! I also haven’t been able to like his mother since the first year of our relationship.
When we first got together I liked his mom. She seemed really nice, but fairly quickly I discovered how much she controlled his life. And that control continues to this day. His mother has every say in Tyler (his 7 year old), and I feel that’s ridiculous because he is his dad, not her. Recently, his ex is talking about moving to Texas and taking her boys with her (she has 3, 2 are Daniels). Well HIS MOTHER was telling his ex that she should just give custody of Tyler over to HER (not Daniel). Um does that sound right to you?? NO. I don’t know 100% but I’m pretty sure that Daniel’s mother put a FREAKING GUILT TRIP on a 7 YEAR OLD BOY. Why do I say this?
Tyler had been okay with moving to Texas one day, but a few days later, when Tyler was with Daniel’s mother, he was suddenly not okay moving with his mother. And apparently he got so upset that he PEED HIS PANTS! Seriously? I highly doubt a 7 year old is going to be able to think about the move enough to make himself pee his pants. So I’m almost certain that Daniel’s damn mother was telling him all kinds of sad things like how he’d never get to see her, or how he’d never get to see his sister, and so forth that he got so upset about it and peed his pants. THAT’S NOT RIGHT in my book. Tyler’s mother has custody of him and Daniel doesn’t even spend but 4-8 hours A MONTH with him, so he has NO RIGHT to make him want to stay here.
And then today, Daniel calls my mom and ask if she’ll watch Tyler for a few hours until he got off. Of course my mother’s not going to say no. Well when Daniel’s mother (who picked up Tyler last night) dropped him off with a change of clothes…oh apparently he was spending the night. Did Daniel ask if I was okay with this? No he didn’t. And you might think that sounds wrong, well it would be except for the simple fact that Daniel works on weekends….meaning that tonight he’s spending a whole hour maybe with him until he puts him to bed. And tomorrow? He might see him for a few before he goes to work, he’ll probably see him again on his hour lunch break, but guess what? He’ll get off work…come pick him up and then take him home. And I’m pretty sure that he only did this because HIS DAMN MOTHER puts a guilt trip on him about not spending time with his son and blah blah blah. So he makes ME babysit when Tyler DOESN’T behave at all! I spend most of the day getting on him! So how is this fair to me? IT ISN’T!
And to make things all the worse? He gets an attitude when I talk about hanging out with people, wanting to know why I don’t hang out with him. The reason I don’t want to hang out with him is because he thinks it can always be just me and him, like we don’t need a social life or friends. Well I’m sorry but I do. You might ask why I don’t spend time with him AND friends…the reason is because HE IS SO FREAKING BORING! He doesn’t talk to anyone really, and he just sits there.
Then on a more personal matter: He hasn’t gotten any in probably at least a year and he makes a big deal about it. Well I’m sorry I don’t want to have sex with you because well you suck at it and I really don’t know about our relationship anymore. I don’t feel the fire or the so in love feeling anymore. I feel like I’m safe from heartbreak but so unhappy. I feel like the only thing keeping us together is Emma. And not to mention to more times he complains about it the more I’m going to pull away. And when I ask your opinion about whether he thinks this or that swim suit top will fit, I don’t want to hear, “I don’t know I haven’t seen them in a while…” DAMMIT that’s not what I was asking, jackass!
And one last note in this GIGANTIC vent:
IF I WANNA LOOK GOOD AND ANOTHER GUY LOOKS AT ME YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY BECAUSE I’M GOING HOME WITH YOU NOT HIM.
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If you want to help me out you’re more than welcome to! 
which sucks in more than one way. Friday’s are one of our busiest nights AND I have to close by myself. They are going to watch Let Me In, which I hadn’t even heard of until now, but it’s suppose to be scary and rated R, so I’ll have to go see the preview. I may have seen it but just didn’t realize it.